Coming out part II

Coming out is the matter of human sexual orientation. In fact, its the first problem which should be settled after homosexual self-identification.
The homosexuality usually is not obvious for common people. Moreover, homosexuality implies more factors than people think. Homosexuality is a complex concept and combines such factors as:

- inherited qualities

- behavioristic characteristics

- Life experience and different events which have affected ones character

-self identification

Many of gays and lesbians could easily be taken for straights. This gives us more freedom, but at the same time some problems can occur.

Should we come out or not?

What should we choose: a kind of courage or tactful behavior?

Does living in the shadow mean playing a double game? Or its just protection of ones personal life?

Is coming out the only way of being fair? Or its a useless bravado?

Every person has his own reasons for coming out. Actually, you are free to settle your inner conflicts and problems caused by leading a double life and society pressure.

You should understand that coming out is not a single act. There are many people, who are not aware of your homosexuality. During the whole your life you have to get acquainted with many new people. You are to come out to every new person entering your life. You have to do this after changing you place of work, moving to another living place, getting new friends. Thats why coming out is a process that never ends.

You should carefully control the process of coming out. This will give you an opportunity to combine your freedom and your protection of your personal life from societys homophobia. You are able to choose friends and control your circle of contacts. This way youll avoid tactless questions, ridicules and publicity of your personal life without your privity. Sometimes the results of publicity are not as terrible as you think. But you can feel helplessness and feebleness in cases when somebody reveals your secret without your allowance.

Such intrusion upon your life can provoke shock and pain.

Private homosexual code of ethics says that homosexuals always come out to each other, but they never compromise another person. Sometimes this rule is broken.

About 10-15 years ago several lesbian, homosexual and bisexual activist groups were sure in necessity of forcible coming out of some celebrities. Its obvious that public coming out of famous people increase the societys tolerance. But, policy of those groups was based on statement that keeping the homosexual orientation in secret a person betrays gay and lesbian community. In fact, they have broken ethics of invasion of privacy. They have affirmed that each person should sacrifice his or her personal life to many other homosexuals. But its wrong!

Membership of any kind of community is not the most important thing in peoples life. There are some other valuable things: peace of mind, inward peace and self-confidence.

Personal life is more valuable for celebrities rather than for ordinary people. Being always in public, famous people protect their personal life very carefully. They do it because all the details of their life come into the public domain due to yellow press. Thats why we can not reproach them with being private. Fortunately the policy of compulsory coming out was rejected and claimed unethical.

Actually, its not the only case of unethical behavior. Placing photos at internet sites from different lesbian parties is also an invasion of privacy. May be some of homosexuals havent come out and dont want to demonstrate their sexual orientation. People who place such photos show their indifference to ones freedom and right for choice. Free-will coming out is the only one way to control ones image and degree of openness.

In fact, its your life and you are free in your choice. You should come out only when you are ready to do this. The process of preparation can take much time. Only being sure in your desire to come out youll be able to explain other people that you are different. Do not listen to others opinion of this subject. Take a decision yourself!