 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
LESBIANS AREA
| Related Lesbian-World.net Links |
Same-Sex Marriage: Equality? Or Second Class Status?
 |
Maybe I should be more excited about this year's presidential election process.
But I'm not.
For the first time in our history, leading Democratic candidates for president are publicly discussing gay rights, civil unions, and domestic partnerships.
And yet, all of it has left me with a sense of unease.
But first, a bit of background:
Recently, my partner Phillip and I did what millions of other Americans did: We sat together in the living room of our home and watched President George Bush deliver the annual State of the Union Address.
Our interest was the same as millions of other families: What will happen to the economy? To our tax rates? To job security and job growth? How will the President's "compassionate conservatism" impact our family?
Despite my hopes – and I've always been an optimist – I was deeply disappointed when the President voiced support for a constitutional amendment denying legal recognition to my family, and to millions of LGBT families like mine. My partner and I work our jobs, pay our taxes, contribute to our community. We bought a home together; we have made a life together. We've been in a committed relationship for 19 years. We've had a Holy Union ceremony in the U.S. and we were legally married under Canadian law in Toronto last July. We're a family. Period.
Yet there we sat, watching the President of the United States endorse a constitutional amendment that – for the first time in U.S. history – would deny legal rights to one group of people. Of course, I understand the President was playing to his core supporters in the Religious Right. But he did so at the expense of equality for America's millions of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender families.
Yes, I'm an optimist – but I'm not naive. I've watched political leaders up close for almost four decades. I know when politicians are taking highly principled stands. And when they are pandering to their political base. So was I disappointed and angered? Yes. Was I surprised? No.
But that's not my only disappointment as this election year cycle heats up. Quite frankly, I'm also disappointed in the Democratic candidates for president.
First, let me make a disclaimer. In my role as Moderator of Metropolitan Community Churches, I am strictly nonpartisan. While the MCC movement has a strong commitment to social activism, we have a core commitment to diversity – and that includes political diversity. In our U.S. churches, we welcome a wide range of Democrats, Log Cabin Republicans, Libertarians, Green Party supporters – people of every political persuasion. I respect and celebrate this political diversity. And, of course, U.S. law prohibits churches from endorsing political candidates.
But in my personal life, I am and have been a long-time member of the Democratic Party. And at this point in the political process, I have usually given my personal endorsement to a candidate in the Democratic Party.
For 35 years, Metropolitan Community Churches have worked to change the marriage laws. In 1970, MCC filed the first-ever lawsuit demanding California's recognition of a same-sex marriage. We lost that battle – but we launched three decades of debate around marriage equality.
In that time, I've come to four conclusions:
First, anything less than full marriage equality is settling for second class status. Oh, I know the argument: Can't we get most of our rights through civil unions? Or domestic partnerships? Can't we settle for something less than full marriage equality and still make progress?
Listen, those weren't acceptable answers to women who worked for full legal equality at the turn of the 19th century. Those weren't acceptable answers to African-Americans who worked for full legal equality in the 1950's and 1960's. And they aren't acceptable answers to the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities who are working for legal equality – including marriage equality – at the dawn of this new millennium.
I hear the voices that say, "Change takes time." "Be patient, Troy." "You can't expect politicians to risk their careers over same-sex marriage right."
Well, the truth is that the greatest changes in American society have come from bold political strokes. Not incremental change. Think of the Emancipation Proclamation. The Civil Rights Act. The Americans With Disabilities Act. Incremental? No. Bold? Yes.
Third, it's time for us to demand marriage equality from our political leaders. Of the four leading Democratic contenders for the Presidency – Kerry, Dean, Clark and Edwards -- not one supports full and unfettered equality under the marriage laws. Not one. Each has settled for something less than full equality.
(To their great credit and our lasting thanks, Kucinich, Braun, and Sharpton – whom one writer called the "principled unelectables" – each endorsed full same-sex marriage rights and elevated their marriage support to a national platform.)
Fourth, we must put human faces to the marriage equality struggle. I have long said, "To know us is to love us," and that has been my experience. That's why I encourage you to take part in the "Freedom To Marry" public actions scheduled for Valentine's Week – Feb. 9-15. Go to courthouses and marriage bureaus and apply for marriage licenses. Take your friends. Invite the media. Attend the public rallies scheduled across America on Valentine's Day, Saturday, Feb. 14. Write a letter to your local newspaper. Talk to your neighbors and your families. We'll win the battle for same-sex marriage rights when we put human faces to the struggle for equality.
You see, the longer I live, the stronger my passion grows to see the LGBT communities achieve full and unfettered equality under the law – including the marriage laws.