Dating: tips to overcome most common problems
Many people who enter same-sex relationships for the first time may face some difficulties either psychological by nature or more physical ones. Making a first move may seem a dramatic step for you if you had never made your hidden desires a reality before. So what can you do to make this very difficult first step.
1. We are not acquainted yet and I want to get close to her
The best policy for you is to watch the girl, being like an observer. Try to find things in common and be by her side. A good party could be a place to begin, all you need is to get closer to a person you like and step by step make your relationships pass to a more intimate level.
During the communication you can understand whether it is worth to open your feelings to this girl or not and when is the right time to do it. You may also realize whether you really like him. You may also get disappointed by her, which often happens especially when relationships are rather seen from the distance.
2. How can I let her know she is more than just a friend to me? Should I outspeak?
Surely you can, but you should be aware of the consequences which can be not so pleasant to you. First thing you should think of is your own safety. And this doesn't necessarily mean you will be beaten or rejected thought this should also be anticipated. There can be a danger of your "secret" being revealed to public which can have a negative effect on your life. You will have to live up with that person, that's why if you are not quite sure of the positive result, you'd better take things slow.
3. How can I say it for sure whether she is lesbian and whether she makes no question of the same-sex relationships?
It is hard to make your thoughts a reality and it can take you a lot of time to make a first move. The most you can do at the initial stage of your acquaintance is to discuss some closely related themes, films, books and magazines as though incidentally. This is a good a way to see her reaction. If she is more or less comfortable with the idea, you have a chance. If she reacts quite aggressive, there are almost no chances for you. Even if you could persuade her for sex, it is unlikely for her to become less homophobic. Though there are cases when such aggressive behavior is a sign of latent homosexuality. But in this situation, you should also be careful not to push things on.
4. The girl I like makes hints about sex. I am afraid she is only for a one-night stand and I want serious relationships. How can I predict her behavior later on?
Pay attention to her. If she is open about her ex, you may find out a lot just knowing about the way she talks about the history of this relationship. This way you may anticipate the course your possible relationships are going to develop.
5. Should I consider myself a lesbian if I agree to have sex with her?
Being lesbian and have one or two same-sex contacts are not the same things. Homosexuality is more or less constant attraction towards same-sex partners, which includes the whole way of thinking and certain way of life. There are a lot of people who have samesex contacts and nonetheless don't consider themselves lesbians. Besides a lot of researches show that same-sex contacts are quite spread and most people had at least one same-sex contact, which doesn't mean they are lesbian or gay.
6. Should I be more masculine in order to get her attention
Being a lesbian doesn't mean you should behave somewhat differently from the way you used to. It is more likely she will be attracted by what you are and not by what you want to look like. It is impossible to pretend all the time and sooner or later you will have to be yourself. Does she have to make a fresh start with a newly familiar person at last?
And finally, building a new relationship may seem very difficult to you, but once you've overcome those obstacles you are more self-assured next time and more confident in yourself.
